Making Peace is the Fruit of Wisdom

¹⁷…the wisdom from above is first pure, then peace-loving, gentle, compliant, full of mercy and good fruits, without favoritism and hypocrisy. ¹⁸And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace. (James 3:17-18; Holman Christian Standard Bible)

Introduction:

Reactional skills never result in making peace.

Are you a maker of peace?

How would those closest to you describe you as a person? Would you really want to know what others think about you on a personal, spiritual level? Have you ever noticed how easy it is to describe someone else? We can spot a flaw a mile away. I can paint a very vivid picture of my wife, children, parents, and closest friends. I can describe their weaknesses, strengths, triumphs, failures, and ugliest sins in extreme detail for anyone that might want to hear (Paul warns against this – Ephesians 5:4). I may find it easy to talk about those close to me to other people, but why do I find it so hard to talk to my family and friends face to face about my perception of their weaknesses, strengths, triumphs, failures, and ugliest sins? We husbands cannot even be honest enough to tell our wives their outfit is atrocious, much less tell them their gossip is sinful, or their attitude is arrogant.

Are you a maker of peace?

We have terrible relational skills when it comes to honesty. We have reactional skills instead of relational skills. Instead of being honest at appropriate times, we tend to be honest at inappropriate times. It seems that our honesty about each other often only appears during the heat of the battle. We find it very easy to exchange personal faults and failures within the context of a good old fashioned argument. We tend to have these reactional skills within every close relationship we have, but these reactional skills are not the fruit of wisdom. These reactional skills never result in making peace, but they do result in relational chaos, and they are anything but wise.

Godly wisdom is available to all of us.

James, in contrast to reactional skills, describes for us how to have peace in all our relationships. Actually, James seems to indicate that "peace" is gained on a personal level, regardless of the other person's help in gaining peace. James begins by stating where we get the wisdom to have peace. Wisdom comes from God. So how do I get it? Surely such a great attribute will take me many years to master, much less obtain. That may seem like the truth, but it is far from it. If you want God's wisdom all you have to do is ask God (James 1:5). Then why do so few people have godly wisdom? Personally, I think it is just as simple as a lack of faith, or a lack of desire to ask. The really short answer is we don't think we need it. Think about it. If we really want something bad enough, we will do anything and everything to get it, and all we have to do to get God's wisdom is ask. We simply don't want it bad enough.

The preparation to "make peace"

"the wisdom from above"

We have already alluded to the fact that there can be no peace without God's wisdom. This godly wisdom is the chef's knowledge in how to put all the ingredients together in order to make the most awesome peace possible. Have you ever watched your grandmother, mom, or wife bake? It always amazes me at how so many of them seem to just throw a little of this and a pinch of that into a pot and presto—a creation that expands my waistline. Well God's wisdom works the same way. When we have the Great Chef's wisdom, he throws a little of this and a pinch of that into our lives and presto—we become a brand new creation and our spiritual waistlines begin to expand.

"first…then"

There is a prescribed order in completing the task of "making peace." We start with the anticipation of finishing our peacemaking. There is a hidden warning here that is easily missed. The fact is that peacemaking cannot be made if we do not first start the process. I wonder how many marriages have failed due to someone not taking the initiative to be a peacemaker. I wonder how many parent/child estranged relationships have been irrevocably torn simply because someone refused to start the peacemaking process. I wonder how many friendships have fallen by the wayside due to a lack of concern from someone to take the time required to make peace.

The bottom line is that if peace is going to be made, we must take the initiative in starting the process, and then seeing it through until the end. For example, we have many old friendships that are not close like they used to be because somewhere along the way we lost interest, got hurt, moved away, etc. What it all boils down to is that we stopped working at the relationship. We simply did not see it through. I have an old friend, whom I dearly love that I do not see anymore. I went to Fruitland Baptist Bible Institute with him. We spent a great deal of time together during those years, but time, distance, and personal interests all changed, and I have not seen or heard from him in years. He and I simply stopped the process of making peace. If our relationships are going to be peaceful, we are going to have to see them through until the end.

"pure"

When your wife, mom, or grandmother begins to pull all the ingredients out of the cabinets, she makes sure that they all meet her standards. They can't be out of date, and they are never artificial in anyway. She knows her ingredients are pure because her ingredients have been tested many times in other recipes, and she has full confidence in these ingredients.

In all our relationships, purity is the best starting place to "make peace." However, many if not most of our relationships are not pure. For example, what about the couple that refuses to separate for the sake of the children, or the employee that takes his boss to lunch just to climb the corporate ladder, or the student that flirts with the professor for a better grade? These are just a few of the many impure relationships we have, but what does a pure relationship look like?

A pure relationship has no additives. I love my wife for who she is. I did not meet her 26 years ago and then make it my aim to change her, or add anything to her to suit my desires. I like my marriage being like I like my orange juice—not from concentrate, and no additives or preservatives. I don't ever want our relationship to be watered down, or fake flavored. I love my lady to be my lady. God made her the way she is and part of the joy of our relationship is learning who she is and what makes her tick. She is my total package, and it has been and will continue being my great joy unwrapping who she really is. 26 years ago I thought I knew her. 26 years later I realize how little I know, but how much I love that little bit that I do know. That is pure love.

There are no "if then" clauses in a pure relationship either. Jesus never said if we will do this or do that, then he will love us. Jesus loves us because that is who he is and what he does. Jesus gave his life for us knowing we would be terrible sinners (Romans 5:8), and not very good friends (John 15:13). Let's face it. Not many people in our lives are anywhere near 100% dependable or trustworthy. We all let each other down all the time. If we base our relationships on their dependability and trustworthiness, then we are doing nothing short of setting all our relationships up for disaster.

We can learn a lot about the pressures of maintaining relationships through the pressures of life from the palm tree (Psalm 92:12). Both the palm tree and our relationships go through extreme temperatures. Both the palm tree and our relationships must be flexible to withstand the diverse winds that try to blow them away. Both palm trees and our relationships must have deep roots. The palm tree actually grows deeper than it grows tall. Our relationships must grow deeper if they are ever to grow up into maturity. The goal here would be pure maturity.

The best place to start, actually the only place to start, in our peacemaking is seeking our own personal purity. Jesus even said that we should be perfect (pure) in the same way that our Father in heaven is perfect (pure) (Matthew 5:48; emphasis mine). When we seek personal purity in our relationships, we take our eyes off of everyone else's faults, and place them on our own faults, failures, and shortcomings. When we focus on our on junk, we will have very little time, if any, to focus on someone else's (Matthew 7:1-5). I am personally convinced that the secret to happiness in all our relationships is our focus on our own personal purity, which is in reality focusing on our relationship with Jesus.

The ingredients to "make peace"

No matter who prepares the delightful delicacy, there are many very important elements that go into making and preparing the very best entre, or dessert possible. The following ingredients, as I am calling them, are actually ingredients for how a peacemaker makes and keeps peace. They involve both the character of the cook, and the character of the ingredients. James has a desire for his reader, which is us, to develop a lifestyle of being a peacemaker. These ingredients seem to follow the familiar "Beatitudes" that Matthew lays out for his reader (Matthew 5:1-12).

"peace-loving"

If we ever want to be any good at making peace, it is a must that we love peace. One thing for sure is that if you don't love to make peace, you will never put all you have into making peace. We speak of peace like it is a commodity. Nations promote that they want peace, but seek it by declaring war. We want peace of mind, but often look for it in a bottle, pill, or an unholy relationship. We want life to be peaceful, but live a chaotic lifestyle and expect peace to miraculously be the end result. Peace is not a common commodity, but it is readily available to anyone who loves it.

If we truly love something or someone, it will always cost you something. True love will always require a sacrifice. Paul said for us to "Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God" (Ephesians 5:2). It does not matter what it is you love, you will give something up to be sure you get it. I love my children, and there have been many things I have given up or sacrificed so I could enjoy their plays, band concerts, and sporting events, but the sacrifice is unnoticeable because my love for them is greater than my desire for other things. In the same way that Jesus never gave giving his life for ours a second thought, we should not give our love for making peace a second thought.

We all want peace to some degree. Some may appear not to truly want it, but that does not change the fact that everyone wants peace. The problem is most all of us want something else more than we want peace. In other words there is something or perhaps many things that we love more than peace. For example, some of us desire getting our way more than we desire peace. Some of us are more passionate about pleasing ourselves in our relationships than we are about pleasing our families and friends. Therefore, we sacrifice peace for the sake of selfishness, or self love. If we put what we desire or are passionate about in front of what God desires for our lives we are sacrificing the good for the bad, even though it may feel good. I have a pastor friend that used to say, "If it feels good do it." The problem with that is that sin generally feels pretty good, and rarely results in peace, and even when it does result in peace the peace is temporal. James is describing for us how loving peace results in making peace that is eternal. I desire and long for that kind of peace making.

"gentle"

If anyone is ever going to want our peacemaking, we are going to have to show it to them through gentleness. This word translated gentle here in this passage is a unique word in the Greek language. We really do not have a word that truly encompasses its meaning in English. Therefore, we will have to open our mind's eye to grab hold of its meaning. When we think of being gentle many pictures come to mind, but I'll only share one. I remember when my elder son was born we were so proud and happy when we brought him home. We had one of those windup swings for him, and he loved the motion of the swing, but he rarely got to swing much more than a few minutes. I referred to my first born son as my elder son for a reason. On our first wedding anniversary, I gave my wife a little white toy poodle. She named him Dinky. He was our first child. Trish and I treated that dog like he was human, and that dog thought he was human. Dinky had the run of the house, and we wondered how Dinky would react to our little Scottie. Well Dinky was very cautious around Scottie. Dinky showed us exactly what he thought of Scottie the very first time we put Scottie in that old windup swing. We put Scottie in the swing and wound it up and gave it a swing and Scottie loved it, but Dinky hated it. Every time we would put Scottie in that swing Dinky would lay down under the swing, and no sooner than when we would start that swing and walk away, Dinky would gently and methodically stand up and let the bottom of the swing brush his back until he had stopped the swing, and then Dinky would just lay back down. Dinky was doing his part of taking care of little Scottie. Dinky was gently protecting his little brother.

In the same way that little dog was gentle with our little boy, we must find a way to add the very special ingredient of gentleness to our peacemaking. Jesus was gentle (Matthew 11:29). And according to Paul, he expects us to be gentle as well, and we should always seek to serve a little gentleness with our humble pie (Ephesians 4:2). It would do us all well to remember that just a little gentleness can turn away the greatest wrath (Proverbs 15:1). Have you ever been in the heat of an argument and thought "I'd do anything to stop this fight?" Next time try a little gentleness and see what happens. I've never quite understood why, but a simple gentle smile from my wife has the power to change my entire mood. It wouldn't hurt any of us to give the one's we love a gentle smile, or even a gentle pat on the back. If we are going to make peace we will have to show people we are peacemakers by being gentle.

"compliant"

The New Living Translation translates this as "willing to yield to others," and if we are going to make peace that is useful and edifying to others, we must be "willing to yield to others." I have noticed that many drivers, including myself, are not willing to yield the right of way to other drivers. I have a great friend, who I affectionately call Big Dog, and every time he rides with me he constantly reminds me to be passive and not aggressive. He still tells everyone about the day I almost killed us after a fishing trip. We were pulling the boat home when all of a sudden the traffic stopped in the lane we were in and I had to take evasive action. We still don't know how that old truck and boat squeezed in front of that other car, but Big Dog and I are forever grateful that that car willingly yielded the right of way to us. Big Dog never said a word. I think he was too scared to breathe much less talk.

Life happens pretty much the same way as that almost fatal accident. We find ourselves in the middle of some pretty chaotic relationships. For example, I serve in a computer lab in a local school, and life is grand until one of the students fails to willingly yield to the teacher. When that happens it disrupts the routine of the day, but when all the students willingly yield to the teacher, life is grand and free of chaos. Another example that I like involves one of my favorite professors at SEBTS. Dr. Russell Bush was one of the coolest professors I ever had the privilege of getting to know, but he did have this one little thing that I always thought was the coolest—he hated to wear a seatbelt. In other words, he refused to be "compliant" with the NC law that required drivers and passengers to wear a seatbelt, and on more than one occasion he had to pay a $25 fine for his refusal to comply. All he had to do was click it, and there would be no ticket. The lesson Dr. Bush taught me was that if I am "compliant" with the rules and regulations, I will not be bothered by fines, penalties, and a loss of time. The sad thing is that many of us choose to be noncompliant, and are willing to accept the consequences no matter how stiff the penalty may be. However, when it comes to making peace, we will need to be "willing to yield to others."

"full of mercy and good fruits"

If we are ever going to make any peace that is satisfying and fulfilling we will have to have something to fill it with. My family loves Krispy Kreme doughnuts, but we all don't like the same ones. Everyone has their favorite filling. I kind of like them all, but I really love those crème filled, chocolate covered doughnuts. My oldest son loves them too, and when I buy some I sometimes say I'm buying them in his honor, and I'll eat them in his honor. He doesn't live with us anymore, so I get to eat mine and his. Regardless of who you are, we all have our favorite doughnut, and we all have our own reasons for it being our favorite.

Have you ever heard someone say, "I ate too much," or "I'm too full?" Well there are some things that just can't make you too full, and I'm not talking about those Krispy Kreme doughnuts. James says that if our peacemaking is going to be satisfying it will have to be "full of mercy and good fruits." Well let's take this mouthful one bite at a time. First, what does "full of mercy" have to do with making peace? It has been perhaps tirelessly said that grace is getting what we do not deserve, and mercy is not getting what we do. I recall my dad putting the fear of God in me as a young boy. He made it very clear that if he ever had to pick me up from jail he would beat the living daylights out of me. Before I continue let me fist confess that Jesus has forgiven me all my sins – Hallelujah! Well, needless to say, I was arrested for driving while intoxicated. The arresting officer asked me for my home phone number so he could call someone to come pick me up. I refused. I knew what dad would do. I told him I would just spend my time in jail. I was only 16 years old. The officer new my parents and called them anyway. My dad came and picked me up. He never spoke a word to me. We drove home in complete silence. The fear of the whooping was killing me. We arrived at home and mom told me to go to bed. A few minutes later my dad came in the door. I braced myself for one of his long talks before he tore into me, but he just sat down on the edge of the bed without uttering a word. Finally I sat up in bed and said, "Dad, I'm so sorry." When I did he reached out to embrace me and cried with me for what seemed like an eternity. I still feel that embrace and those tears even as I write this. My dad simply sobbed at my ill fated insurrection. I learned that day what it meant to be "full of mercy." My dad was the epitome of those words. I deserved a beating. I got complete forgiveness. My dad was a peacemaker, and he used mercy to give me peace.

Second, what does "good fruits" have to do with making peace? We could go back to the doughnut analogy, but as great as that filling makes a doughnut that misses the point of "good fruits" here. These "good fruits" are deeds done in the hopes of making peace. It seems obvious that this is a direct reference to Galatians 6:22-23 where Paul says, "The Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control." I recall Dr. Kenneth Ridings preaching a series of sermons on these verses. One of the most profound questions he asked and answered was, "Whose fruit is it anyway?" Many of us spend our lives trying to own our ministries or our works. The fruit is not ours. The fruit is the Holy Spirit's and we do not get the privilege of choosing what fruit we will use or when we will use it. We do as we are told. Get this. If we are to make peace, we will have to do it with the Holy Spirit's fruit, or we could say with his filling. What I love about this is that it puts all the responsibility for our peacemaking filling into the very capable hands of the Holy Spirit. I don't have to search for filling. All I have to do is trust the Holy Spirit for it. That makes us fruit carriers. Our responsibility is simply to hold onto the fruit the Holy Spirit gives us.

Now you may be wondering what "full of mercy and good fruits" have to do with one another. Remember that the whole analogy is ingredients for making peace. What is the goal of making or baking anything? We want it to fill us, and taste good, and if we offer mercy to those who do not deserve it, and do deeds that lead to making peace we will see our relationships come to a positive fruition. We will be peacemakers instead of peace-fakers, as Ken Sande and Kay Moore discuss in their book Peacefakers, Peacebreakers, and Pacemakers.

"without favoritism and hypocrisy"

I have had in the back of my mind the analogy of making a pie called Peaceful Fruit Pie. My beautiful and talented wife is by far the best cook I know. All you have to do is look at her husband to tell that she is a good cook. She makes the best pies in the world. My two favorite pies that she makes are her Peanut Butter pie, and her Homemade Lemon Pie. There is one man on earth that loves her Lemon Pie as much if not more than I do, and that is Big Dog. Big Dog attended the SEBTS in Wake Forest, NC with me. We all lived on the beautiful campus, and Big Dog came over all the time. Big Dog could never wear out his welcome in our house. One of the things that Big Dog would do every time he walked into the kitchen was say, "Ms Trish—you got any of that Lemon Pie?" All the while he was heading to the fridge and checking for himself. Now you would think this would be bothersome to my wife, and she might even let on like it did bother her a time or two, but every time Big Dog would eat that pie, even if it were the last piece, a smile would go across her pretty little face. My wife loves to see people eat her cooking. It gives her a sense of satisfaction. My little wife loves to cook, but she loves to share her cooking "without favoritism and hypocrisy." She with all sincerity wants to feed everybody.

Jesus wants us to have this mentality about making peace as well. He wants us to make peace "without favoritism and hypocrisy." He did not pick and choose who he gave his life for, nor does he refuse anyone that will accept his free offer of salvation. In the same way, we are to seek to make peace with everyone whenever it is at all possible (Romans 12:18). I think James is saying that it is hypocritical to show favoritism when it comes to being a peacemaker. We as humans are prone to show favoritism in all walks of life. My children all argue over who the favorite child is. I let all my brother-in-laws know as regularly as possible that I am the favorite son-in-law. I even like to think in my mind that I am Jesus' favorite. After all, he is better to me than anyone else, or at least it feels that way, but then again I suppose all of us who have tasted his goodness feel like we are his favorites.

Conclusion:

Peace is available to anyone who wants it. Our biggest hindrance to this peace is that it eludes us by masquerading as a worldly commodity. We will never know the peace of God until we know the Peace that was sent from God. There is no real peace without the Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6). You cannot have the one without the other. It is fitting to close where we began with the words of James: "The wisdom from above is first pure, then peace-loving, gentle, compliant, full of mercy and good fruits, without favoritism and hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace" (James 3:17-18; HCSB).

Now go and be a peacemake.

Sick & Tired of Church?

Have you ever thought, “I’m tired of church?” I have heard many people say this through the years, but exactly what does this mean? What exactly about the church are we tired of, or are we just tired of it all? I have also heard people say, “I’m sick of this church.” Can we conclude that there seems to be a vast majority of people who are “sick and tired” of church? I think we can, and I think this feeling of being “sick and tired” is spreading like an epidemic. It seems as if it is always “flu season” in the church, and as a member of the Church, it makes me sick (pardon the pun). For just a few moments, let’s consider some of the elements of being “sick and tired” of church.


Does everyone get sick and tired?

That is like one of those rhetorical questions that is not quite so rhetorical. Let’s not be afraid to call it like it is family of the one true God. Let’s face it guys—we are exhausted. We find ourselves wanting to hit the snooze button more on Sunday morning than any other morning of the week. I went through the great enlightenment of my life just a couple of years ago, when I realized that most Christians do not set their alarm clocks on Sunday morning. Isn’t that a heinous crime? Won’t Jesus get you for that? I guess I’m just Mr. Naïve. I always give myself more time on Sunday mornings to get ready than any other morning of the week, but I must admit that the snooze button doesn’t get much rest on Sunday mornings in my house. Call it lazy or whatever, but I find myself desiring more rest these days on Sundays.

But why do we desire to be away from or out of church? What about church makes us so tired of it? I think the biggest problem is our church worldview. We have a faulty understanding of what Church is. Actually the Church is not a what at all. The Church is not an inanimate object. The church is very much alive and well (1 Peter 2:5). The biggest hurdle that today’s church must jump is this whole idea of going to Church. We have to stop seeing Church as something that is somewhere besides where we are. I have spent the last year re-thinking church, and my conclusion is that I don’t go to Church, I am the Church. Ephesians 5:25-33 reveals that Jesus died for the Church, and John 3:16 makes that death personal by stating that “whosoever” believes is the Church. Do you know how fun it is to live that out in everyday life? Just yesterday I went to Walmart to pick up a few things for our Wednesday gathering in my home. I met a fellow pastor’s wife and her family there. Now check this out. The Church (me) went to Walmart and met the Church (pastor friend’s wife and family). Guess what we talked about? Our families, vacations, pontoon boats, and it all centered around our Lord Jesus. We discussed all this stuff in lieu of how Jesus was at work in our lives. The point is, wherever I go the Church is there, because I am the Church. Oh, and I’m not merely a part of the Church—I am the Church, and you are too if you are a member of Jesus’ family.

Well then that explains how we are tired, now what about sick? The problem with sickness in the church is that it seems to spread through the family like wildfire. The church flu is real. What makes us sick about the church? One thing to keep in mind about church sickness is that it infects the body of Christ, but not the Head. Jesus is the head and he never gets sick. Therefore, we can rest assured that the Body of Christ (BOC) never gets a headache. How cool is that, but we, as the body of Christ, do get our body banged up, bruised, and even broken. I recently read an entry on Facebook that simply asked “Why can’t we just all get along?” We can’t get along because we refuse to be what we were called to be. We are not the body parts of Christ. We are the BOC. The BOC has one focus, and that is to do as the Head (Jesus) commands. The problem is that we react like the body parts of Christ, instead of acting like the BOC. The BOC has no reason to get the body banged up, bruised, and broken. The BOC pleases the Head. The body parts of Christ pleases itself. The body parts of Christ is too busy fighting against itself to be of any earthly good. In fact, I believe that the body parts of Christ is Satan’s most prestigious new world religion. It resembles the BOC, but it is actually mimicking, much like Satan mimics the power of Jesus. This is in reality much more than a flu-like sickness within the BOC, it is much more like a disease of epidemic proportions. Seemingly there is no cure, because it grows and spreads throughout the BOC at an alarming rate. However, never forget that the gates of hell can’t penetrate the BOC.


What are the symptoms of being sick and tired of Church?

The number one tell-tale sign is blame-shifting. This symptom can be traced all the way back to the Garden of Eden. Eve said the devil made me do it, but the devil didn’t care who did it, and Adam even blamed God for it. Remember, Adam said this little purty thang YOU made for me made me do it (Genesis 3:8-13).

This blame-game has continued through the ages, and is very prevalent within the church today. It’s always somebody else’s fault. Adulterers blame their own spouses’ inabilities, and shortcomings as excuses to cheat. Deacons blame the pastor’s kids for their own kid’s rebellion, and vice-versa. Churches blame their pastors for their lack of growth, and pastors blame congregations for a lack of spirituality. Everybody blames the music minister for music that is too loud, too old, or too new. The preacher’s sermons are too long, too boring, too short, too topical, or too expositional. The youth blame the seniors for being too stuffy, and the seniors think the youth are too wild. We all blame the teacher for our lack of discipleship—surely God doesn’t expect us to have personal responsibility for our lack of spiritual growth. If it is broke, failing, or lacking in any way, it has to be somebody else’s fault, but on the flip side, if it is good, we have no problem taking undeserved credit.

Another tell-tale sign is cover-up. We used to call these field dressings when I worked construction. I’ve seen guys literally mangle and disfigure a thumb or some other finger, and then either duct-tape or black tape it up so they could continue working for the day. Now these guys were tough, and I must admit I was one of them. I recall using skill saw one day when it jumped back and ripped my leg open. I immediately dropped my pants and wrapped it with an old bandana, and continued work. Now as macho as all this sounds it was a very ignorant thing for me to do.

It is just as ignorant for the church to just simply cover-up someone’s infectious, pus infested, sin injury that has occurred within the church. Rather than deal with sin, we would rather cover it up, or sweep it under the rug. Matthew gave us the prescription for cleansing the church of sin (Matthew 18:15-20). When someone gets sin-sick, it is the entire church’s responsibility to inoculate that person. The goal of Matthew 18:15-20 is restoration, not separation, but we too often would rather sweep the trash out the door rather than take the time to do some real spiritual cleaning.

If anyone in my family gets injured, we immediately take them to the hospital. We want them to have the best available care possible, and we want it right now. We don’t even care if they want to go to the hospital. There is always that one family member that refuses to go to the doctor, even when it is life and death. What do we do with those guys? We take them anyway. Sometimes it is our responsibility to get people help who are too stubborn or sinful to get help on their own. We must determine now that when we see a member of Jesus’ family broken or injured by the ill effects of sin we will see it as our family obligation to get them spiritual and emotional help.

There are many symptoms of someone who is sick and tired of church, but I will only mention one more that I feel is the secret symptom. This is the person who is sick and doesn’t know it. Have you ever heard of the “walking pneumonia?” I had this one time, and when the doctor diagnosed me I thought he was nuts, but I literally could walk around all day long without any symptoms of the pneumonia until I exerted myself in any way. Once I would do anything laborious, I would begin to cough and bark uncontrollably, but all I had to do was slow down to a crawl again and the symptoms would subside.

I fear we have church family who may have Christian walking pneumonia (CWP). They’re sick and don’t know it until they try to exercise the disciplines of their faith. Matthew describes an believer who is sick and don’t know it. He says they are trying to help a fellow believer, but can’t be of any good because they are sicker than the one they are trying to help (Matthew 7:5). The saddest part of this sickness is that you don’t know you have it until it is too late. For example, adultery infiltrates your life and leaves you beaten, battered, and without any strength. All of a sudden you realize that you have been relying on your own spiritual strength and stamina. All of a sudden God seems a million miles away, and you feel betrayed and rejected not only by your spouse but also by your God. All of a sudden it has to be God’s fault that all this has transpired because, after all, you have done everything you were supposed to do, or have you been simply going through the motions of spirituality for your own merit instead of God’s glory? We should live each day knowing that God does not owe us anything. Every blessing he bestows upon us is just that—a blessing. A blessing is getting something you didn’t expect from a God you don’t deserve. Adultery is just one of hundreds, maybe even thousands of personal sins, or even sins committed against us that infect us unknowingly every day. As a pastor, it never ceases to amaze me at how many of Jesus’ family are sick and I don’t even know it until they come to me for help. We all should take a personal spiritual inventory of our lives and determine if we may have the dreaded illness called CWP.


What about homemade remedies?

I generally enjoy a good laugh, and listening to some of the homemade remedies people use always gives me a good laugh. For example, my daughter is 3 months pregnant right now, and she has experienced quite a bit of morning sickness. She has been counseled by some very world-wise women that all she has to do is crawl over her husband in the morning before he gets out of bed and she will transfer her sickness to him. Well now that is one of the funniest and meanest home-remedies I have ever heard. Undoubtedly I love my son-in-love more than they do, because I cannot imagine desiring he get sick instead of my daughter, but even that is funny. Another example of a homemade remedy is the use of what they call rock and rye. I am a southerner, and it is common down here in the south to use this alcoholic concoction to relieve the common cough, or cold. Now I must admit that this one interests me more than any other remedy I have come across. Just to think that I could get drunk all in the name of medicine. As a Baptist minister, this intrigues me. I used to drink a bit before becoming a Christian, but from personal conviction, as well as respect for those that have been harmed by alcohol I choose to be a teetotaler, but my stomach is bothering me a bit this morning (hahaha).

Churches have their own homemade remedies. For example, we tend to think that doing something new will bring the dead back to life. It seems to me that if you come upon a dead horse you bury it, but when a church comes upon a dead program we throw money at it. By the way guys, money is not the supernaturally spiritual answer to the church’s problems. We also think that if some other church is being successful, all we have to do is copy them and we will be successful. Guess what? We don’t need more Billy Graham’s, Rick Warren’s, or Mother Teresa’s. We need more of Jesus’ family being who Jesus wants them to be. We need you and me to be transformed by the power of Jesus’ resurrection, but we don’t need to resurrect the dead to live again for the church to thrive once more. As a matter of fact Jesus said something like “let the dead bury the dead” (Matthew 8:22). We need the “breathing” to be the church, not the dead.

We also are living in a generation that seriously has lost the meaning of worship. What about music? It seems that many churches are equating a genre of music with worship. Worship is not Sunday morning at 11:00 AM. Worship is not Southern Gospel music, nor is it Contemporary music. As a matter of fact, worship is not music at all. Worship is a beat, but not the beat of a song. Worship is the heartbeat of a child of God, totally surrendered to his Creator on a daily basis (John 4:21-24). Does your heart beat to serve God, and to please him in all you do? Hey guys, I don’t need music for that. All I need for that is a daily constant reminder that Jesus willingly died for me knowing full well that I would not live for him until I was 28 years old. He lived and died for me knowing that I would fail him daily for my entire life. All I need is a constant reminder of that, but how do I get this constant reminder? I get it every day by simply opening up whichever version Bible I happen to be reading through at the time (Hebrews 5:11-14). Music is cool, and I love it as much as anybody, but music cannot make me right with Jesus. Music cannot give me the power to live for him. Music cannot forgive my many wretched sins. Music cannot grow me, and it certainly cannot grow Jesus’ church, but Jesus can, will, and does do all those things and more. Music is not a remedy to fix our spiritual paralysis—Jesus is.


Do you have a family doctor?

Family doctors are mandatory in the Shuford household. If one of momma’s babies (myself included) runs a fever, or even feels bad, Patricia makes sure we get the care we need. We all go to our family doctor, who knows us by name. We even have a special file that has all our information in it. They check us in and the doctor checks us out. We know we can trust our family doctor because he has all the right credentials. He is always careful to give us a good diagnosis and just the right advice and medication to make us feel better just as fast as possible. He always cares enough to listen as well. Could you imagine a doctor that didn’t listen to you describe your symptoms?

In the same way that our physical families have a family doctor, our eternal families have a spiritual doctor as well. The difference is that the entire family of God has the same doctor. Our doctor’s name is Jesus. Jesus claimed to be our family physician (Mark 2:17). We know we can trust Jesus as our physician because he has the right credentials. Actually he is the Creator of everything (John 1:3), and that gives him the knowhow of how to fix all our ailments. He is very personable, and knows us all (John 10:14). The coolest thing about Jesus being our physician is that even though he already knows what the problem is he still takes the time to hear us. He loves to talk to us, but he also loves for us to talk to him. Could you imagine trying to tell Jesus what was wrong with you and he says “OK – whatever – I know what you problem is – Next!” Jesus would never do that. Jesus just lets us go on and on about our lives. He is very interested, and has always got our back. Jesus does one other thing that is really cool. He never misdiagnoses us. He calls it like he sees it, and he doesn’t sugar coat it either. He tells you what is ailing you, and he sees it for what it is—SIN! Once he has given you his diagnosis, he then gives you the prescription to your problems—Himself.

Many times, this is where we blow it. Instead of accepting the diagnosis, and taking our prescribed medicine we tryout some crazy home remedy. Sometimes these come in the form of self-help books. You know. They come with titles like Become a Better You: 7 Keys to Improving Your Life Every Day, and yes that was a shot. We really think that if we add stuff to our lives, our lives will improve. If you don’t get anything else I say, get this. Jesus plus something is nothing. Jesus is the only medicine to all our mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual sickness. You can read all the self help books you want and still need help. You can even read every discipleship book in the world and still not be a disciple. Jesus wants you to want him as much as he wants you.


Is it contagious?

Being sick and tired of church tends to be very contagious. Maybe some of you have met a guy like this: He who once walked a very close life with Jesus. He read his Bible, prayed, gave willingly, loved to help people, and pretty much anything else you can think. He made many feel inferior when it came to knowledge of the scripture. He now refuses to go to church celebrations, and lives a life of blame shifting. There is always someone else who is less spiritual than he is, and he doesn’t even spend time with the church. He does not give of the bounty God has blessed him with, and describes people who do as hypocrites. After all they are just doing it to be seen. He has marital problems that may eventually destroy his marriage, but he refuses to go with his wife for counseling. He says you’re supposed to take care of your own problems, and not broadcast them to some stranger. He has lost most all respect from his children, and the really sad part of all this is that it if you listen to his story you really want to buy into it. It’s contagious. In reality, his story is more common than not. In fact there was a time this guy was me.

Perhaps you know a church like this one: It has a reputation for running off pastors. They describe themselves as victims. They would never admit that they have a problem, even though each of the pastors they dismissed were totally different men. I have talked to some of these men, and they all accept responsibility for their faults, but I have yet to hear one of those church members admit any responsibility at all. This is one of those situations where the Body of Christ is trying to be the Head. This makes them the Body members of Christ which is heresy. Kind of sounds like the blame-game as well.

Getting sick and tired of church is growing like an epidemic. Personally, I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. This is a good place for us all to be. When we get sick and tired of being sick and tired maybe, just maybe, we will get off our spiritual high-horses and humble ourselves and let Jesus inoculate us again with his healing hand. Maybe we will quit going to church, and start being the church. Maybe we will put the blame where it belongs, and begin to pray real meaningful prayers like: “Jesus I’m sorry for my sins. I can’t take credit for the good in my life, but I humbly accept my sin for what it is—an abomination to you. Without you, I am less than nothing. With you, I am complete, and lack nothing. I thank you for your undeserved blessings on my life. I thank you for allowing me to be a member of your family. I praise you for using my messed up life to bring glory to our father. Because of your forgiveness I not only live forever, but I love for you.”

Toddlers in the church…

All the believers were united in heart and mind. And they felt that what they owned was not their own, so they shared everything they had. (Acts 4:32; NLT)

OMGosh! How on earth is this possible? It is virtually incomprehensible that a group of people could have an attitude of gratitude so big as to share, not some of what they had, but all of what they possess with everyone of like faith. We live in a “me” generation. I like to call this the “toddler" generation. For the most part, we are a bunch of toddlers that never grew up. There are many things that contribute to this, but for the sake of staying true to the text, I’ll only share three. There are toddlers in the church today because we are underdeveloped in our spiritual skills, social skills, and sharing skills.

Toddlers in the church because we are underdeveloped in our SPIRITUAL SKILLS.
To begin with, there are “toddlers in the church” because we are underdeveloped in our spiritual skills. This of course is the disease that spreads the “toddler” contagion. The text says, “All the believers.” The whole premise behind Christianity is that it is a growing process. Peter talked about believers having a desire for the pure milk of the Word (1 Peter 2:2). Spiritually and physically speaking, babies need milk to live. I heard a preacher say one time that we need to get off the milk of the Word, and start a steady diet of the meat of the Word, but I think I will always enjoy a cold glass of milk to wash it all down now and then. That old preacher was partially right though. We need to stop depending on someone giving us a bottle and start feeding ourselves.

The Word of God not only grows us from “toddler” Christianity to mature Christianity, but it also cleanses us (Eph 5:26). Let’s face it, the two biggest challenges we face as parents with our children is helping them grow up, and keeping them clean. As a matter of fact, I am 43 years old, and my dad and mom still try to get me to grow up. My wife has all but given up on that one.

Isn’t it amazing just how stinky we can be? For example, foot odor. OMGosh, is that not the most heinous smell in the world. Someone with bad foot odor can take off a shoe and pollute the entire room in a matter of seconds, and what is really interesting is that if it happens to be a teenage boy, he thinks it’s hilarious. He knows he stinks, but refuses to do anything about it.

Think that last statement through for a second. Is that the problem we are really having in our churches? Do we know we stink, and just refuse to do anything about it? Could we also be immature and just simply not care? I think this is far too often the crux of the matter. We are far too often a bunch of sinfully immature stinky big babies who refuse to grow up, and take a bath in the Word. I guess I’m trying to say we all need to be changed. Our diapers are full, and we need Jesus to clean us up. Excuse the pun, but sin is a dirty mess, and we sure can’t clean or change ourselves.


Toddlers in the church because we are underdeveloped in our SOCIAL SKILLS.
Second, there are “toddlers in the church” because we are underdeveloped in our social skills. A lack of spiritual skills greatly magnifies this underdevelopment. The text says “All the believers were united in heart and mind. And they felt that what they owned was not their own, so they shared everything they had.” There was a huge sense of togetherness. If you really want to know how we are to relate to one another you should definitely take time to study the “One Another” passages found in the New Testament. I have pasted an Into Thy Word Ministries document so you can see for yourself what the Bible has to say about our Christian relationships.

The “One Another” Passages

Bible passages essential for us to understand and develop healthy relationships by knowing we are called to One Another:

• Love one another: John 13:34-35; 15:12, 17; Romans 12:10; 13:8; 14:13; 1 Thessalonians 3:12; 4:9; 2 Thessalonians 1:3; 1 Peter 1:22; 1 John 3:11, 3:22; 4:8; 23; 4:7, 11-12; 2 John 1: 5
• Serve one another: Galatians 5:13; 21; Philippians 2:3; 1 Peter 4:9; 5:5
• Accept one another: Romans 15:7, 14
• Strengthen one another: Romans 14:19
• Help one another: Hebrews 3:13; 10:24
• Encourage one another: Romans 14:19; 15:14; Colossians 3:16; 1 Thessalonians 5:11; Hebrews 3:13; 10:24-25
• Care for one another: Galatians 6:2
• Forgive one another: Ephesians 4:32; Colossians 3:13
• Submit to one another: Ephesians 5:21; 1 Peter 5:5
• Commit to one another: 1 John 3:16
• Build trust with one another: 1 John 1:7
• Be devoted to one another: Romans 12:10
• Be patient with one another: Ephesians 4:2; Colossians 3:13
• Be interested in one another: Philippians 2:4
• Be accountable to one another: Ephesians 5:21
• Confess to one another: James 5:16
• Live in harmony with one another: Romans 12:16
• Do not be conceited to one another: Romans 13:8
• Do not pass judgment to one another: Romans 14:13; 15:7
• Do not slander one another: James 4:11
• Instruct one another: Romans 16:16
• Greet one another: Romans 16:16; 1 Corinthians 1:10; 2 Corinthians 13:12
• Admonish one another: Romans 5:14; Colossians 3:16
• Spur one another on toward love and good deeds: Hebrews 10:24
• Meet with one another: Hebrews 10:25
• Agree with one another: 1 Corinthians 16:20
• Be concerned for one another: Hebrews 10:24
• Be humble to one another in love: Ephesians 4:2
• Be compassionate to one another: Ephesians 4:32
• Do not be consumed by one another Galatians 5:14-15
• Do not anger one another: Galatians 5:26
• Do not lie to one another: Colossians 3:9
• Do not grumble to one another: James 5:9
• Give preference to one another: Romans 12:10
• Be at peace with one another: Romans 12:18
• Sing to one another: Ephesians 5:19
• Be of the same mind to one another: Romans 12:16; 15:5
• Comfort one another: 1 Thessalonians 4:18; 5:11
• Be kind to one another: Ephesians 4:32
• Live in peace with one another: 1 Thessalonians 5:13
• Carry one another's burdens: Galatians 6:2
  
  © 2000 Into Thy Word Ministries www.intothyword.org
  http://filemanager.silaspartners.com/dox/intothyword/OneAnotherPassages.doc

Imagine a church where you feel safe, not only from the schemes of the devil, and the attacks from the world, but a feeling of safety from the ones closest to you—the Church. Personally I have always longed for a Church that more resembled the Cheers sitcom that aired from 1982-83 than the local churches I see today. Remember the lyrics to the theme song?

Where Everybody Knows Your Name, by Gary Portnoy

Makin' your way in the world today
Takes everything you've got
Taking a break from all your worries
Sure would help a lot
Wouldn't you like to get away?

Sometimes you wanna go
Where Everybody Knows Your Name
And they're always glad you came
You wanna be where you can see
Our troubles are all the same
You wanna be Where Everybody Knows Your Name

Be glad there's one place in the world
Where Everybody Knows Your Name
And they're always glad you came
You wanna go where people know
People are all the same
You wanna go Where Everybody Knows Your Name


OMGosh! Could it be possible for us to experience the intimate relationships that the Church of Paul’s day experienced? Imagine a Church with no gossip, backbiting, wife/husband stealing, whining, pouting, and power brokers. What really bothers me is that we should not have to imagine it—it should be so very real to each and every one of us.


Toddlers in the church because we are underdeveloped in our SHARING SKILLS.
Finally, there are “toddlers in the church” because we are underdeveloped in our sharing skills. Here again, due to a lack of spiritual skills, we find ourselves lacking in the seemingly simple ability to share and share alike. I don’t want to mislead anyone here. There are some people who are the epitome of benevolence. I have known many through the years who have demonstrated a love for me and my family by sacrificially giving of their time, giftedness, and finances. They have left me awe struck more times than I can count, but the fact of the matter is there are far too many who are lacking in the spiritual characteristic of sharing with their fellow believers.

By the way, selfishness is both a learned and genetic behavior. We are all born stingy, and selfish. We all are born screaming for what we want and we will do whatever we have to do to get it. I am about to be a grandpa for the very first time. We are all so excited. I have thought at length about what it is to be a grandpa, and one of the cool things I will truly enjoy is being able to give her/him back to mom and dad. The joy of just knowing that when that baby starts screaming, I can simply lay that beautiful little bundle of screaming joy back into the arms of mom or dad. Oh, the joy of knowing that when that little precious bundle of joy begins to perfume the room with its stinkiness that only a newborn baby can do, I can just simply and calmly place that precious darling back into the arms of mom and dad. The text says, “they felt that what they owned was not their own, so they shared everything they had.” I’m here to tell you I’m glad I don’t have to share in that baby’s stinkiness at all (LOL).

As that precious little bundle of happiness grows to toddler stage it will develop the “MINE” disease. There are far too many of us who scream to the top of our spiritual lungs “MINE!” In the same way that little darling refuses to let go of what she/he desires most, believers refuse to let go of what they desire and value most in life. Believers need to learn a very valuable lesson. We don’t own anything—it’s all God’s. The text says, “They felt that what they owned was not their own, so they shared everything they had.” That was their feeling, and from that feeling they felt compelled to share everything. We forget sometimes that feelings are not evil. God gave us feelings. The problem is that we live in a fallen state. Because of Adam and Eve’s sin our feelings have been tainted, but thanks to Jesus these feelings can be and should be restored, and rest assured, if you feel like giving to someone in need, your feelings are godly.

Many today think that this type of Church cannot exist today. Well, I have to admit that I have yet to see a group where “All the believers were united in heart and mind,” but I have seen my fair share of believers who did live their lives like this. I like real life stories that demonstrate the power of God’s truth. I recall a time when my wife revealed to me one Sunday morning that she had just put the last diaper we had on our little boy. We went ahead and got ready and went on to church knowing we didn’t have a dollar to our names. It had come down to our last diaper, and last dollar. We went into our discipleship class for Sunday school and had a great time listening to the teacher. As we were leaving, a gentleman who I had grown to love and admire walked up to me and reached out to shake my hand, and as we shook hands I felt something in between our palms that was puzzling. He looked me dead in the eye and said, “Put that in your pocket.” I did as he had said and didn’t think anything else about it until we were on our way home, and we remembered we needed diapers. I reached back into my pocket and found $20. That was enough to get the baby some diapers and us some groceries. My father-in-love used to say, “Ain’t God Good? All the time! God is Good” Now sit back for a minute and consider how awesome our God is. I’m serious—take a minute and praise Him for His goodness.

In conclusion, many of our churches have started what we call “Children’s Church,” and I was just thinking how fitting a name that is for every church, and I’m not being facetious. We are all children of God, and we should most assuredly act like it, but that in no way should imply that we are to be “babies” or “toddlers” indefinitely. It is high time that believers grew up, and if you want to know how a mature church looks, let me close with our proof text. “All the believers were united in heart and mind. And they felt that what they owned was not their own, so they shared everything they had.”

Now go grow up…